I have really bad anxiety right now because at work today these little girls wanted lotion and one had her lotion with her but two forgot theirs. Their hands were “chapped” (dry from washing because we make them wash their hands a lot) and I know they both normally have lotion with them and this other girl was like “Can they just have some of my lotion?” Then the other girl goes and gets it and is like “It is the same kind I have” so I look at it and it is just Eucerin, fragrance free no allergens so I’m like “Okay that is fine but you can only have a small amount.” (so I physically give it to them). I did this because I just did training the other day that was talking about hand washing that said we need to have lotion available for kids to use after hand washing. Then all of a sudden Mr. Riggio (the guy I work with mostly) is like “Did you all put lotion on, was that your lotion from home?” and then he proceeds to have to explain to me that they can only use lotion their parents specifically send with them (so I look like a dumbass because I got lied to by little kids and believed them because I didn’t think it was a big deal). I really think everyone I work with hates me/thinks I’m an idiot. I have no idea how to socialize with people. They talk about exercising and their boyfriends/girlfriends and drinking and going out and stuff and I’m just like derping around with some kids coloring pictures. I really don’t know what the hell I am doing working in a preschool randomly. And I think the other teachers kind of feel the same way about me. Plus most of them have been there for years. Anyway, I know this whole thing isn’t a huge deal it just stresses me out. Every day I fuck up at some minor thing and get sooo stressed out because I know I’m not fitting in the way my boss wants me to (and she can be an absolute cunt) so I just always feel on edge which makes it even worse. blargh blargh blargh I really just want to dig up artifacts now, or ask people weird questions about their lives. That is what I’m good at.
arirosie said: If it was close to her time, look for small nesting spaces around your home, she may be in one of those. When they feel like their time is close, they don’t like to leave their nesting spot very much.
I have looked around my apartment and it snowed the other day so I’ve been on the lookout for cat foot prints to follow but I haven’t seen anything. I don’t know why she would choose to have kittens out in the cold when she has a warm home with plenty of food, water, room to sleep/nest and a clean litter box nearby. But honestly I don’t understand cat logic at all. She’s disappeared once or twice before for like 3-4 days at a time so I feel like either she has an original owner who occasionally lets her in or she has suckered someone else into letting her in on occasion. One day back in fall she showed up with a pink flea collar on but the next day it was gone. I was planning on actually making an effort to find out if she had a home when I moved so I knew whether or not to take her with me (Evan suggested putting up a sign or putting a collar on her with a note/phone #). I’m just worried/sad. I just really hope someone else has taken her in (specifically someone who doesn’t suck) because she is a really sweet cat and deserves a nice home. I wish I could have forced her into being an indoor cat but going from having all of the outdoors to roam to only being allowed in one small apartment didn’t seem appealing to her. I think it would have worked if I lived somewhere away from where she was used to roaming but having the places she was used to right outside she would just scratch at the door/meow/run out when the door was opened. Ugh, cats are difficult.
So I took in this semi-stray cat who I named Sunny. She started coming around my apartment over the summer and when winter rolled around I caved and started letting her come inside whenever she wanted. I tried to make her a full time house cat, but she was INCREDIBLY insistent on being allowed to go outside on warm days but at the most she would leave for 2 or 3 days at a time. About a month ago I noticed she was looking pregnant. I assumed she would have kittens here and that I would just have to force her to stay inside at that point. But Wednesday morning I let her out when I went to work and she hasn’t been back since. :( I’m so sad. I’m not sure what has happened. She is overly friendly so I’m assuming someone else has taken her in, or she had an original owner who has let her come inside after noticing she is very much with child. Either way, I miss my kitty and I am devastated.
I either need to learn how to cope with anxiety without having problems with my heart rate, sleep, and depression or I need to get on some kind of medication for it. I had to call into work today because the weather was bad, and when I called instead of saying okay they pulled the “we really need you” and I knew it wasn’t safe to drive but I thought I was going to die. Anytime I have to do something like call into work I feel like I’m going to have an anxiety attack. It is insane because it isn’t a fear of getting fired or anything it is just like I’m horrified someone will be mean or rude to me or something. Blargh
My gift for you, Legolas, is a bow of the Galadhrim, worthy of the skill of our Woodland kin.
#HQ - Benedict Cumberbatch attends the Oscars held at Hollywood & Highland Center on March 2, 2014 in Hollywood